Pit of Despair!

IMG_2836Not long ago, our pastor prayed specifically for a person who was contemplating ending their life. His prayer jolted me back to a time when I found myself in a state of desperation in my life.

I had experienced a time of hopelessness after a divorce. I found myself sitting in a yard sale chair, in a borrowed house, with a loaded pistol!

God sent my mom to knock on my door in that lowest moment. I thought I had nothing; I thought I had lost everything! But God never left me; He was there for me as soon as I turned to Him. That day I began to dig my way out of the pit of despair.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! (Psalm 42:5)

Depression is real and brutal. There is no shame in seeking counsel. Without the counsel I received, I would have most likely found myself repeating the cycle of desperation, loneliness, and self-destruction.

I’ve been there … financially depleted, emotionally broken, self-medicating with alcohol. At one point, everything I had was gone!

I remember the Sunday soon after my lowest point, when I knelt at the altar at the front of my church. My dad was over my left shoulder and my mom was on my right. All of us were crying as I laid it all out and gave it to
God. I told God everything that had happened. In my mind I visualized myself taking all my problems from my past and all my desires for my future, and I piled them up and gave them to God. He accepted my piled up problems and desires, and I made a choice to quit trying to control my life. I chose to trust God with my past, my present, and my future.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:5-8)

God changed me that day! He took my broken life and replaced it with a life that was full of hope. He redeemed my life by giving me a second chance. It didn’t change my past … I still had to deal with divorce and the loss of my material possessions. But I felt hopeful about my future. I believed that with God’s help, I could rebuild my life. But this time, I wanted to rebuild it according to His instructions in the Bible. Slowly, joy returned to my daily life.

Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. (1 Timothy 6:17)

Are you in a “pit of despair”? Don’t hide! Cry out for help. Allow God’s Word, the Bible, to speak to your deepest need.

Father God, please give your HOPE to each person who reads this testimony. Give the reader Your spirit of LOVE, POWER, and a  SOUND MIND. Provide healing from the hurts of the past, and    give a glimpse of the plans for GOOD that you have for them.   Help each individual believe that these are good plans to give them a FUTURE and a HOPE! Amen.

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