Pit of Despair!

IMG_2836Not long ago, our pastor prayed specifically for a person who was contemplating ending their life. His prayer jolted me back to a time when I found myself in a state of desperation in my life.

I had experienced a time of hopelessness after a divorce. I found myself sitting in a yard sale chair, in a borrowed house, with a loaded pistol!

God sent my mom to knock on my door in that lowest moment. I thought I had nothing; I thought I had lost everything! But God never left me; He was there for me as soon as I turned to Him. That day I began to dig my way out of the pit of despair.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! (Psalm 42:5)

Depression is real and brutal. There is no shame in seeking counsel. Without the counsel I received, I would have most likely found myself repeating the cycle of desperation, loneliness, and self-destruction.

I’ve been there … financially depleted, emotionally broken, self-medicating with alcohol. At one point, everything I had was gone!

I remember the Sunday soon after my lowest point, when I knelt at the altar at the front of my church. My dad was over my left shoulder and my mom was on my right. All of us were crying as I laid it all out and gave it to
God. I told God everything that had happened. In my mind I visualized myself taking all my problems from my past and all my desires for my future, and I piled them up and gave them to God. He accepted my piled up problems and desires, and I made a choice to quit trying to control my life. I chose to trust God with my past, my present, and my future.

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:5-8)

God changed me that day! He took my broken life and replaced it with a life that was full of hope. He redeemed my life by giving me a second chance. It didn’t change my past … I still had to deal with divorce and the loss of my material possessions. But I felt hopeful about my future. I believed that with God’s help, I could rebuild my life. But this time, I wanted to rebuild it according to His instructions in the Bible. Slowly, joy returned to my daily life.

Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment. (1 Timothy 6:17)

Are you in a “pit of despair”? Don’t hide! Cry out for help. Allow God’s Word, the Bible, to speak to your deepest need.

Father God, please give your HOPE to each person who reads this testimony. Give the reader Your spirit of LOVE, POWER, and a  SOUND MIND. Provide healing from the hurts of the past, and    give a glimpse of the plans for GOOD that you have for them.   Help each individual believe that these are good plans to give them a FUTURE and a HOPE! Amen.

Is this really going to be my life? My Fate?

I can remember thinking this as a young girl…. Is this really going to be my life? My fate?

There were so many times that I thought I wouldn’t rise above my circumstances, and that the choices my parents made would follow me everywhere I tried to go.

I was young, so young, yet I felt trapped! There was so much negativity, gloom, and sadness around me.

I watched as Godly parents turned to the world to console their aching hearts, but I knew there was only One who could satisfy and I pursued Him!

I remembered the loving Jesus I had heard about in Sunday school and I knew I needed Him. About age 9 or 10, I began walking to church, alone .. it was a very long walk in the same dress week after week just to feel close to Him. I knew He could help me; I knew He was my Hope!

It turns out that Jesus was pursuing me!

Jesus loved that broken little girl and He knew my heart. Sometimes we can’t control our circumstances and it feels like things will never be different for us, but …

RUN TO GOD!! He is the Game Changer!!

It wasn’t material things that I needed way back THEN; and, it’s not the material things I need NOW. What I needed then was HOPE, and what I need today is also hope! HOPE changed my life forever when I was that little girl seeking something better than the trap I felt around me. Today, HOPE is that positive flame that is lit in me each time I read the promises in God’s Word, my Bible!

I may be a little overboard with positivity sometimes, but I don’t ever want to go back to a defeated life. I do not want more things or better stuff….my bucket list simply says give me more Jesus!

Be blessed today! HOPE has a name…His name is JESUS!

“This is real love – not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” ~1 John 4:10
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11
YOU (God) are my refuge and shield; Your Word (Bible) is my source of hope. Get out of my life, you evil-minded people, for I intend to obey the commands of my God. ~ Psalm 119: 114-115

My Best Friend


My Best Friend …

We met when I was seven years old,

When fears and insecurities paralyzed me.

He believed in me and helped me make wise decisions!

My Best Friend …

I trusted Him with my marriage and children

He became quite close at age 35 when I heard “You have cancer!”

He provided a way of escape from this terrible disease!

My Best Friend …

He held my hand as I fought depression.

I had won the physical fight with cancer, and

Now I fought a spiritual battle with depression!

My Best Friend …

He provided TRUTH through His Word,

And continually expressed His love and acceptance to me.

I experienced victory as my trials gradually turned into triumph!

Do you know my best friend? His name is Jesus Christ and He cares for you, too. He loves without judgement. He will walk with you through your hard times as well as your times of joy. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you. Allow Him to be your BEST FRIEND!

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).

Dear Brothers and Sisters, When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing (James 1: 2-4).

Second Chance!

Lies, Alcohol, Drugs,
Stealing, Sex, Thrills –

We have a sneaky enemy.

At twenty-five my life was out of control, and

I wanted it to end!

I received an invitation to a child’s baptism at church,

And immediately noticed PEACE and JOY in those in attendance.

I surrendered my life to God at age twenty-eight, and

Experienced peace, followed by relapse into my old lifestyle!

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

God loved me to repentance and I recommitted my life to Him.

God gave me a second chance! I learned I must ask Him for help.

Scripture taught me to take every thought captive

And make it obedient to His Word.

We break down every thought and proud thing that puts itself up against the wisdom of God. We take hold of every thought and make it obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I replaced partying with time with God.

I forgave my betrayers, and

Learned to love those who treated me wrong.

Now I minister to those caught in that lifestyle!

My God is faithful! He is slow to anger!

His mercy is more than I could ever deserve.

He restored me! He gave me a new beginning!

His forgiveness gave me a second chance in life! A rebirth!

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord (Acts 3:19).

My God can be YOUR God!

Talk to Him and tell Him what you’ve done.

 Ask Him to forgive you and allow Him to wash you clean.

He loves you! Accept His free gift of forgiveness!

This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind son of God when introduced to him (John 3: 16-18).

Trusting in God Day by Day!


Born too early . . . 

She was in the hospital for eight months,

Ventilator dependent.

They told us she would not survive!

Taken home without doctor’s blessings.

They said she may never talk, crawl, or walk;

She now talks our ears off,

And walks to keep up with siblings!

A modern-day miracle!

Our angel remains a very critically ill child,

Waiting for a double lung transplant.

We are trusting God day by day!

Those who hope in the LORD

Will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

They will run and not grow weary,

They will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31 (NIV)

Do you TRUST God no matter what? Is God only trustworthy when life is easy and things are going well? This family trusts God everyday the transplant doesn’t happen. They continue to pray and trust God’s timing.

God, help us TRUST You during the good days as well as the difficult days. Help us BELIEVE that your Master Plan is good, your love for us is eternal, and You are TRUSTWORTHY. Amen.